Professional Coaches » Life Coach

No More Mr. Nice Guy (or Ms. Nice Girl)

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:46:17 +0000

In the last job I worked at before starting my own business, I had a manager who was – ahem – not a great person to work for. When he wasn't yelling or making rude or obscene comments, he was harshly critical of everyone in the office. It's no wonder that during my 9 months of tenure in that office, our staff went from 7 full-time and 5 part-time staff to 3 full-time staff only. After I left, leaving the office with the same amount of work for 7 full-time and 5 part-time but only 2 people, my manager was finally let go. It's a shame that it went that far.

It's difficult to pinpoint just one problem and there were other issues at play here (such as how the company didn't seem to notice that the office went from 7-plus-5 staff down to 3). But clearly, leadership was an issue. The manager thought he could lead but he relied on a leadership model of berating, humiliating, and yelling.

If you are a leadership coach, your clients are facing the challenge of how to lead effectively. It was while thinking about this that I came across an article in a Harvard Business School blog that talks about humility as a leadership trait. It was a great find – particularly as I read it in light of my previous negative experience – and considered how different the office would have looked with that kind of leader.

Humility is a terribly misunderstood trait. When we think of humility we often associate it with weakness. After all, a strong, dominant, persuasive Type-A personality may be successful and may be able to dynamically lead the troops but is probably not humble. (Gosh, if I had a nickel for every time that has turned out to be true in my experience…).

Humility, however, is not weakness. Sure, one can go too far to the other side of the spectrum and become a weak and dithering leader who can't make a decision or convince a stapler to staple. But humility done correctly is compelling and magnetic and people want to be around those who are "correctly" humble.

You can read the Harvard blog post here but I'll summarize it quickly for you:

First, they point out that just because a leader has authority doesn't mean that they need to wield it with full force. Second, promote others. This is a great piece of advice to leaders and it makes sense: If leaders take all of the credit for things, they look good. But if their team hits one homerun after another, they look even better. Third, acknowledge others. This was an interesting one and they brought in a great sports analogy to illustrate it.

This blog was a great read and should be on the "must read" for all of your leadership clients.

Brought to by you by: Contemporary VA - Run your business instead of running in circles.

@ContemporaryVA on Twitter. Follow the team to stay updated on business resources we deliver that cover strategies and tips, social media and more!

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Three Skills Everyone Should Have

admin — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:53:58 +0000

Murphy’s Laws says that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Recently, I was reminded of this during a particularly crazier-than-usual week. It was a veritable flurry of mini-disasters. Now, I realize that in the big scheme of things, my flat tire or missed appointment or forgotten tasks are minor compared to the struggles and trials of other people in the world. However, when taken together, it was still an exhausting week for me!

It’s funny that we know things and then forget about them only to be reminded of them again. (If only it would stick!!!). During this past week I was reminded of 3 skills that everyone should have. And believe me, I covet these skills and wish that I reflected them more often!

Skill #1: Acceptance of adversity. When things go wrong – and they will – we need to accept it. That doesn’t mean that we have to like it, but it does mean that we have to simply acknowledge that it has happened and move on from there. There have been plenty of times in my own life and in the lives of people I coach where we face adversity and fly off the handle. Tempers flare, frustration mounts, and there’s yelling, swearing, and tension. It happens and I admit it here because I know this happens to other people, too.

But our lives will dramatically improve when we respond in a more constructive, accepting position when we are face adversity. Rather than flying off the handle, we need to accept that something challenging has happened and then we need to move on from there.

Skill #2: Flexibility. When things go wrong – and they will – we need to get flexible. Once we’ve accepted the adversity as having happened (skill #1) we need to move off of it and start working toward a solution. Flexibility means that we get creative to develop a solution to solve the problem or at least to keep us going in spite of it.

Flexibility in the face of adversity also means that we need to continue on with other things in life, too, even if part of our life is impacted by adversity. (For example, when I got a flat tire last week, I still had to get dinner ready and get the kids to bed regardless of the added tire stress).

Skill #3: Asking "What can I learn from this?". When things go wrong – and they will – we need to ask ourselves "what can I learn from this?". I was reminded recently during a huge rainstorm we had when our neighbor’s pool overflowed and ran down our sloped backyard and into our basement. Until then, we didn’t even know that our backyard sloped ever so slightly toward our house. So we did something about it.

In trying to figure out what you can learn from each situation, you can transform every experience into a personal coaching experience and you will grow from it.

Possessing these three skills – accepting adversity, being flexible, and learning from the situation – will transform how you face challenges. These skills are must-have skills for anyone and they make ideal coaching topics to help your clients, no matter what kind of coaching you might do.

Contemporary VA

@contemporaryva on Twitter. Follow us to stay updated with our many resources that include business, accounting and bookkeeping, social media, and much more!

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Playing it Safe

admin — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:40:14 +0000

When it comes to coaching, careers, and life in general – what is the effect of "playing it safe"?

Playing it safe means not taking chances or risks. It means not making changes. It means not taking a true leadership role in your life or career. It means standing still. And it means never knowing ‘what could have been’ or reaching one’s true happiness.

Most people of great success didn’t get there by playing it safe. Can you truly find happiness by playing it safe or do you only find stale contentment?

It’s imporatant to encourage ourselves, our clients, our family and our friends to be courageous and make changes, take control and move forward.

We should ask:

What would make me happy?
What steps would it take to get there?
What will happen if I don’t take those steps? Or, what WON’T happen if I don’t take those steps?
If I just play it safe, where will I be in 6 months, 1 year, 3 years? The same place I am now?

I think it’s important to include those keywords "if I just play it safe" when we’re encouraging one, or ourselves, to go for happiness. There seems to be something motivating about that phrase.

Playing it safe doesn’t build one’s self-esteem. It doesn’t allow a person to realize their true capabilities or to really put their "drive" in high gear. It’s a place of complacency, of cruise-control. Living on cruise-control gives you no chance to really experience your travel.

If you roll down the windows and enjoy the wind, crank up the radio, feel the bumps and potholes, and control everything about your journey you can really appreciate and navigate your path. Taking the wheel puts your destination in your control rather than just arriving wherever it takes you.

Even though we can’t control everything that happens in life, we can ultimately control our happiness by asking ourselves "now that this has happened, what is it that will make me happy?", and daring ourselves to not play it safe so that we can navigate our way to to the place we want to be.

What are your views when it comes to "playing it safe" and happiness? Is there a particular approach you use? Do you have any stories or successes about how not playing it safe gave way to happiness or how playing it safe gave way to just settling?

Karen J. for Professional-Coaches.com

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Free Life Coaching Resources

admin — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 01:55:56 +0000

Coaching, in any form, requires true dedication to helping people improve their lives. In order to do so, coaches must consistently seek out new information and resources. We hope to assist in that search by bringing you resources in both broad and specific coaching areas.

Today, we’re focusing on free Life Coaching Resources but some of these resources will be helpful in other areas of coaching as well.

Our Top Pick of the Day - 20 Free Tools – you have to enter your email address to get the free download but you are immediately redirected to the download page where you can download your pdf document. The document contains many useful tools for utilizing with clients including homework for your clients, the Life Wheel, the LIfe Roles wheel. conflict recognition and resolution and even some pretty nifty ideas to help clients with many things.
50 Power Questions is a list of powerful questions to help you and your clients focus. A nice resource we found on David Wood’s Life Coaching site.
The Coaching Institute’s Life Coaching Articles is a compilation of articles covering different life topics.
Outshine’s Newsletters share some good points on different life problems and learning how to attack them. Some of the articles aren’t at the top of our list but others contain good information.

We will continue to deliver our top picks and coaching resources.

If you have valuable free coaching resources, please share them here so that other coaches can benefit from your finds.

Karen J. for ProfessionalCoaches.com

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Why do you coach moms?

admin — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 03:19:02 +0000

In the light of my last few posts published here at professional-coaches.com, I can summarize that, Coaching is an inspirational, confidential and non-judgmental relationship that helps you manage and succeed in life. Sometimes it can be difficult to achieve your goals and live the life you really want without the support of someone else. The coaching relationship provides synergy because the coaches and moms are a team, working together to focus on your personal goals and needs. And when you encounter obstacles along the way, the coaches are experts at providing solutions, strategies, and “out of the box” perspectives. As your coach, he/she will provide the structure and accountability you need to take more action, think bigger and create the life you envision. Now the answer of the question “Why do you coach moms?” would be….. It is fact that I am father but I watched my own mother do everything she could to keep our family strong. Moms are the heartbeat of the family and you want to help strengthen families by helping you…..

Balance your many roles in life,
Have positive energy to give to yourself, your family and the world,
Enjoy the fulfillment that comes from having a happy family life,
Be the role model you want to be in your home, work and community,
Leave a legacy your children can pass on to future generations

What moms coach can do for you…

Your partner in achieving all your personal goals,
Your advocate in helping you turn your life around,
Your instructor in communication and life skills,
Your sounding board when making important choices or decisions,
Your motivation when you need a little push to take positive action,
Your unconditional support when you fall down,
Your mentor in personal development,
Your co-creator when creative solutions are needed,
Your inspiration when you’re feeling down,
Your wake-up call if you don’t hear your own,
Your companion in helping you have all of what matters most to you.

How you get this service: Coaching is delivered during regular telephone or in person sessions, whichever is more convenient. You will work with coach to identify your goals and create an action plan for achieving them. He/she will help you overcome any difficulties along the way, bring about the changes you want, and celebrate your success. Why do women choose The Moms Coach?

Work / Family Balance,
Desire to feel better physically and emotionally,
Improve communication skills,
Increase quality of life,
Deepen relationships with others,
Stress management,
Get on a clear and focused path,
Manage life transitions

Are you a ‘personal coach’? Are you a personal or mom coach? we would like to hear from you, write us at admin [at] contemporaryva [dot] com

Professional-Coaches.com

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Life Coaching

admin — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:29:39 +0000

Today we are going to write about Life Coaching, main type of personal coaching.

Firstly, I would define it in simple words:

Life Coaching is a profession in which few processes and techniques are involved, by which coaches assist you to improve your life, business, relationships and your day to day activities. In my opinion, life coaching aims to help you achieve clarity and confidence to work through issues that are holding you back from enjoying a challenging and harmonious life.

Let’s see its depth and get understanding how it works:

Life coaching is not about making simplistic judgments about someone’s life and telling that person how they ought to live it. The majority of coaches set out to fix what is wrong with people. I don’t believe in that approach at all.

Personal experience and social science research have shown that people are the sum of their genes, their cumulative experiences and the circumstances in which they live their lives. I believe, therefore, that successful coaching has to be based on an understanding of all these factors and not just focus on superficial behaviors.

But like anything else, life coaching works best under the right conditions. For me, then, effective, authentic coaching is based on the following principals:

1. After discussion and understanding client’s need, set coachable goal for the client,

2. Ready to get most from life coaching,

3. A shared feeling of trust and empathy between client and coach,

4. A relationship of equality between client and coach,

5. A desire on the client’s part to focus on the future, while acknowledging the effects of the past,

6. A willingness by the client to work through challenging issues towards empowerment, self-confidence and a happier, more productive life; and

7. A belief in people’s ability to accept them and yet make changes that will improve their lives.

At the end, I want to summarize it:

Life coaching is for everyone, to achieve your personal, spiritual, family and business goals much more effectively, more efficiently, more completely, with more fun, and in less time than any other human improvement process. Life coaches assist you to: overcome obstacles and fears, focus on solutions, have someone to bounce ideas off, no matter how silly they may seem, discover truths about you, and how you can improve, accomplish more than you thought possible, and achieve balance in your personal, work and family lives. Your coach will UNLEASH YOU, to become the person you always wanted to be and were capable of becoming.

Are you a ‘personal coach’? Are you a personal or professional coach? we would like to hear from you, write us at admin [at] contemporaryva [dot] com

Professional-Coaches.com

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A Place for Professional Coaches

admin — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:53:26 +0000

(Our "Welcome Mat", sticky post. You’ll always be welcomed here with this post when you visit!)

Professional-Coaches.com is a place for professional coaches to find and share tips, information, resources, strategies, and even just casual exchanges.

The business of professional coaching is a growing one and one that requires continuous learning, sharing and networking. We encourage coaches to stop by and see what’s new, share their thoughts and resources, and learn and discuss.

With the support and knowledge of others, we can all foster our goal of helping others reach their goals.

Do you often find yourself Googling to assist you in your coaching journey? Wouldn’t it be great to have one primary place to find many resources and thoughts for professional coaches? That’s precisely the goal of Professional-Coaches.com but we can’t do it alone.

Nuestro Casa es Su Casa (Our house is your house). We invite you to make yourself at home and share with other coaches. We would love for you to be our guest blogger, as well as comment with your thoughts and share your resources and strategies.

Welcome home. We look forward to your arrival each and every time.

Karen J. for Professional-Coaches.com

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