Professional Coaches » coaching techniques

What’s Your Coaching Style?

admin — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:04:56 +0000

Each one of us is unique: Our personalities, experience, education, and successes all contribute to give us a coaching style. What’s yours? I’ve given some thought to some of the more prominent coaching styles I’ve seen and have listed them here. It’s not an exhaustive list, nor have I tried to provide a balanced look of good points and bad points. These are a collection of observations.

It’s helpful to gaze into the mirror occasionally and think about how you do things. That doesn’t mean you need to change, but this mirror-gazing can help us to leverage our strengths and mitigate our weaknesses.

The director. You tell people what to do. You listen to their situation and then you outline what needs to happen and you pass the list back to them. You may provide ongoing director-style coaching as they follow your list (or you may not; I’ve seen both). This kind of coach is in demand because people like to be told what to do (even if they don’t think they do).

The peer. You sit on the same side of the table as your client. You nod understandingly and share from your own experiences. You tend to prefer referring to your work as "collaboration" rather than "coaching". You coach your client with a "let’s do this together" attitude that often helps the client to feel like they’re not alone in the effort. People respond well to this kind of coaching but there are times (like during payment) when you need to be professional so it can get challenging.

The bucket. You see each client as a deep well of potential and your job is to draw the answers out of them. Your coaching style includes plenty of probing questions and invitations to "explore those thoughts further". Clients explore their situations and use discussion with you to uncover the answer within themselves. This is a very client-centric model and can be quite empowering to clients. However, they may one day decide that you aren’t actually giving them "advice".

The librarian. You have a vast list of resources and tools at your fingertips. As soon as a client explains their challenge to you, you pull a book off your shelf and call up a list of websites to give them. This kind of coaching can be very empowering for clients but you may find that your clients are "spinning their wheels" because they are overwhelmed with information and lack the ability to act on it.

Each of these coaching styles presents opportunities and challenges. And it doesn’t hurt to think about who you are and how you might bring in aspects from other styles into your coaching.

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The Top of The Stairs

admin — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 02:37:47 +0000

Recently, a client told me that he had been bumping his head on the ceiling. He wasn’t any taller since I’d last met him and the context of the conversation was about business. His business, specifically. He was an entrepreneur who had built a successful business but now, he told me, he was bumping his head on the ceiling of growth. He knew he needed to grow but he didn’t know what the right next step was.

We chatted about this for a while as I inquired about what he thought the next step of his business was and what had been the experience of others who had done similar things. Finally we discovered together what the right next step was. It turns out, without realizing it, he had recently achieved his goals in business.

When he started his business he had wanted to create a growing, successful company that was enjoyable to work in and that provided him and his family with a sustainable income. Nothing elaborate, just the good honest hardworking dream of an entrepreneur. He wasn’t seeking fame or fortune, he just wanted to do his own thing and provide for his family.

What he needed, we realized, was a new vision; not just a next step but an entire next staircase!

So together we started creating a roadmap for the future. Rather than looking at the next step for him (which was unclear because there was nothing more for him to achieve) we started looking at what was at the top of his dream staircase. Did he envision an even more prosperous business that he could sell before retirement? Did he want to create something to pass on to his children once they’d grown? Did he want to achieve fame and fortune after all?

It turns out, in his particular case, he wanted to create a business that was somewhat automated, not so he could leave it for weeks and sit on a beach, but just so that he could start spending more time with family as his children got older.

As soon as he said that, it all started to click into place. By looking at the top of the staircase, we could immediately see what steps needed to take place to get there. In his case, he needed to start exploring various automation software, employee training, and (in a little while) a business manager.

Rather than thinking that he had reached the top of the staircase, we changed his thinking so that he had just reached a landing in a much larger staircase.

Now it’s your turn. You might not be there yet. But you may eventually get to that landing. It would be helpful now to consider what the top of the staircase is for you and what steps you need to take to get there.

Is the vision you have for your ultimate business success achievable through the steps you’re taking now? In some ways, this entire "staircase" exercise is an exit strategy exercise but it involves a greater emphasis on the steps you need to take today to get there. Spend some time with your clients working through this process to help them envision what’s at the top of their staircase.

Contemporary VA

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Three Skills Everyone Should Have

admin — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:53:58 +0000

Murphy’s Laws says that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Recently, I was reminded of this during a particularly crazier-than-usual week. It was a veritable flurry of mini-disasters. Now, I realize that in the big scheme of things, my flat tire or missed appointment or forgotten tasks are minor compared to the struggles and trials of other people in the world. However, when taken together, it was still an exhausting week for me!

It’s funny that we know things and then forget about them only to be reminded of them again. (If only it would stick!!!). During this past week I was reminded of 3 skills that everyone should have. And believe me, I covet these skills and wish that I reflected them more often!

Skill #1: Acceptance of adversity. When things go wrong – and they will – we need to accept it. That doesn’t mean that we have to like it, but it does mean that we have to simply acknowledge that it has happened and move on from there. There have been plenty of times in my own life and in the lives of people I coach where we face adversity and fly off the handle. Tempers flare, frustration mounts, and there’s yelling, swearing, and tension. It happens and I admit it here because I know this happens to other people, too.

But our lives will dramatically improve when we respond in a more constructive, accepting position when we are face adversity. Rather than flying off the handle, we need to accept that something challenging has happened and then we need to move on from there.

Skill #2: Flexibility. When things go wrong – and they will – we need to get flexible. Once we’ve accepted the adversity as having happened (skill #1) we need to move off of it and start working toward a solution. Flexibility means that we get creative to develop a solution to solve the problem or at least to keep us going in spite of it.

Flexibility in the face of adversity also means that we need to continue on with other things in life, too, even if part of our life is impacted by adversity. (For example, when I got a flat tire last week, I still had to get dinner ready and get the kids to bed regardless of the added tire stress).

Skill #3: Asking "What can I learn from this?". When things go wrong – and they will – we need to ask ourselves "what can I learn from this?". I was reminded recently during a huge rainstorm we had when our neighbor’s pool overflowed and ran down our sloped backyard and into our basement. Until then, we didn’t even know that our backyard sloped ever so slightly toward our house. So we did something about it.

In trying to figure out what you can learn from each situation, you can transform every experience into a personal coaching experience and you will grow from it.

Possessing these three skills – accepting adversity, being flexible, and learning from the situation – will transform how you face challenges. These skills are must-have skills for anyone and they make ideal coaching topics to help your clients, no matter what kind of coaching you might do.

Contemporary VA

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Online Tools for Professional Coaches

admin — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:30:38 +0000

In recent years, the need for coaches to meet clients face-to-face has largely diminished. There are still many coaches who prefer or even insist on meeting clients in person and in some coaching situations, that is the right choice. But today’s web has opened up the possibilities to allow coaches to work with clients online. We’re not just talking about the telephone, there’s so much more.

Skype. Face to face can still happen, even when separated by oceans. Skype is a web-based telephone service that works through your computer and allows you to talk, video conference, instant message, and share files. It’s an excellent communications hub enabling professional coaches with the ability to meet clients no matter where they are.

GoogleDocs. GoogleDocs is a free online word processing application. If you use Microsoft Word, GoogleDocs feels excatly the same. Files are stored online in your own secure account and you can access them from any computer. But GoogleDocs offers coaches two additional advantages: You can share documents with others so that both of you can work on the same document at the same time without overwriting the other person’s work. For example, that means that your client on the other side of the globe can sign into a document that you’ve shared with them and the two of you can work on their goals. Together, at the same time. And the other benefit to a coach: GoogleDocs allows you to create custom forms that can be posted on your website. New clients can fill out the form online, click submit, and all of their answers are entered into a GoogleDoc for you to review before their first session. Why not have one form for new clients and another form for your regular clients to fill out before each session?

Mindomo or Mindmeister. These are web-based mindmapping software that allows you to create mindmaps online. Like GoogleDocs, more than one person can edit a map at once, making it the perfect tool for you to work with your clients no matter where there are. (I’ve listed both of the ones that I’ve used here, and there are others, but I prefer Mindmeister).

Blogs. Blogs aren’t just for you to promote your business so that the world can see. Blogs can come with limited access for only certain people to view. A coach might have a client create a blog as a personal journal of their progress, and set the viewership permission so that the only people who can see blog are the client and the coach. This allows the client to keep the coach up to date, and the coach can add comments to encourage or direct where necessary.

These are just four tools that can empower coaches to meet with clients anywhere, and to collaborate with them in real time, all the time.

Contemporary VA

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Do I really have to sell?

admin — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 01:48:38 +0000

Professional coaches offer meaningful services to people — services that can have a powerful impact in their client’s lives. Unfortunately, GETTING clients is one of the biggest problems in professional coaching because many coaches are skilled at working WITH clients but have less skill (and interest!) in selling their services. So consider this a sales 101 lesson specific to professional coaches.

Part of the problem lies in the misconception that sales is about pushing people into making a decision that they aren’t comfortable with. The truth, however, is that sales should be about helping people figure out what they need and then showing them how to get it. Not that different than what you do as a coach!

Once you’ve met someone who may have a need for your services, your first task is to highlight that need. You don’t have to push them into anything. Ask questions that draw out their own thoughts and feelings on the issue. Talk about the issues they’re facing as a result. And talk about the consequences of continuing in the same way that they always have.

By doing this, you are helping yourself understand the need and, more importantly, you are helping them to realize just how great in scope their need really is.

Once you have helped them see their current state, talk to them about how much better it could be. Don’t talk about what you can do for them. Don’t talk about how you can solve their problems. Instead, focus on helping them see an image in their minds of how life could be improved when they address their issue or challenge. In sales speak, you’ve probably heard of selling the sizzle, not the steak. Helping them to see that ideal in their mind is the sizzle. Don’t worry about your services just yet — that’s the steak.

Once they have seen the ideal image of themselves living with their issue completely resolved, then you can ask the question: "How can you get there?"

They might suggest some ideas of their own. That’s fine. But then the conversation will reach a point when you can offer that they come and talk to you. Point back to that image that they just pictured. You will want to rephrase it for your situation, but you’d essentially say something like: "You know how you pictured a life that was highly productive and free from procrastination? I’d like to help you achieve that."

And then ask when they would like to schedule an appointment. Don’t ask if they would like an appointment. Ask when they would like an appointment.

This is a basic sales presentation, customized to the professional coaching industry. Of course you will want to modify it slightly for your own needs, but this method works — proven over and over through decades of sales experience in all industries. Of course you won’t book appointments with everyone you use this method with, but it can help create some structure and direction around your pre-coaching conversations.

And do you notice something else? It’s not pushy. It’s not forceful. What’s more, it probably is not that different than what you do now: help people see the problem clearly, help people see the solution clearly, and help them get from the problem to the solution. The first step is the SALES step — to get them to see you professionally.

Contemporary VA

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Asking the Right Questions

admin — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 03:42:23 +0000

Asking “the right” questions isn’t just a coaching topic. It’s an everyday life topic.

I’ve heard of this approach before but I recently read the manuscript of a book soon to be published that discussed this ‘thought’ and it reminded me of how powerful it is.

It’s the focus of energy. Negative vs. positive. It’s the theory that if we ask questions that evoke negative thoughts, we stir negative emotions and bring a person’s energy down. But, if we ask questions that evoke positive thoughts, we stir positive emotions and, therefore, positive energy.

Instead of asking “what’s wrong”, ask “what’s right” and work from there. This allows a person to think of good things which enhances their positive energy. Positive energy lends a hand to motivation.

Figure out how to fix a problem by focusing on what’s right, what’s working and how to build on the “what’s working” factor rather than wallow in a sea of how to fix “what’s wrong”.

“What’s wrong” can oftentimes feel way too overwhelming and it causes a person to look at all of the negatives rather than the positives. Think about it…negatives can be DOWNright draining!

Personally, if I think of “what’s wrong” I begin to develop a dreary list and feel like sinking right into my couch cushions as far as I can sink.

But when I think of “what’s right”, I feel a tinge of positive energy that reminds me of the blessings I do have and motivates me to chase “what’s right”.

So, the next time you or a client are working on a problem, tackle it by focusing on positive energy and “what’s right” rather than giving yourself reason to feel like crawling under a rock.

Instead of thinking “how can I fix what’s wrong”, think of “how can I expand on what’s right and what works”.

This book is ABSOLUTELY a MUST READ for everyone. Coaches, individuals, everyone. Individuals will find it enlightening and coaches may find several great approaches to helping clients tackle any aspect of their life.

It will expand greatly on the topic of “asking the right questions”…as a matter of fact, there’s a section dedicated to just that and it lays out “the 5 right questions”.

It’s not only a very motivational book but a great read. I don’t like boring books and this is certainly not one. There’s a great storyline to keep you interested while you learn many valuable life lessons and how to succeed in any aspect of your life.

You can get on the notification list at The Servant Soul and proceeds will go to a foundation that donates to those in need and performs “random acts of kindness”. It’s not only a fantastic book but a worthy cause.

I guarantee you will thoroughly enjoy this book and take much away from it. You must, must, must add this to your collection.

The author is amazing. I’ve known him a short time and I really can’t put into proper words how amazing he is.

Burke Hedges is one of those people who just brightens your day by speaking to you, even if it’s of nothing in particular. He generates such positive energy and I can see why he’s such a successful author and motivational speaker. If you want to check out some of his other stuff you can do so at Burke Hedges.

I believe that once you read it, you’ll find yourself recommending it to clients, family, friends and even perfect strangers! You’ll find this post in every category because it truly relates to everyone and every situation.

Coaches could create some positive plans for assisting clients based on the contents of the book.

Once the book is released and you’ve read it, please let me know what you think. I’m excited about its release and I think its timing couldn’t be more perfect considering the shape the world is in today.

Karen J. for Professional-Coaches.comSimilar Posts:

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Family Coaching

admin — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 23:38:45 +0000

Family coaching requires the ability to bring a family together as a team. Families are comprised of individuals with their own interests, values, beliefs, problems, and goals.

It can be tricky to bring a family together as a team when everyone is going different directions.

First, obviously, you must identify any problem(s). What are the problems the family has as a whole and individually? It’s important to outline the individual problems of each member and then diagram how they create problems for the family as a whole.

Address Individuality. Determine what “issues” might just require everyone learning to appreciate each other’s differences and accepting each other as individuals. Family has to learn to appreciate individuality, even if it’s not necessarily their vision for the person, and support that individuality. Acceptance nourishes bonds.

Teach communication improvement. Communication is key in any relationship. Families must learn to openly, comfortably, communicate with each other and accept communication from each other.

Find common goals or dreams that can bring the family together. Having a common goal or dream provides a foundation for forming bonds, teamwork and communication.

Teach how to foster love and purpose. The feeling of a purpose is a great motivator. Some people take for granted that someone they love should already know they’re loved – have them practice the art of showing and receiving love.

Mend relationships and teach conflict resolution. Relationships have to be mended before they can prosper. Get hard feelings out in the open and focus on forgiveness.

Teach the best practices for conflict resolution and remind of “acceptance of individuality”.

Build a family team. Families that work together as a team build great relationships. Teach them how to attack every day routines and challenges as a team. Give them ideas for games that will foster teamwork. Do trust challenges and even create ideas that will help them learn more about each other’s individuality.

What other practices do you implement in Family Coaching and are there any specific methods you’ve found to be successful?

Karen J. for ProfessionalCoaches.comSimilar Posts:

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A Place for Professional Coaches

admin — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:53:26 +0000

(Our "Welcome Mat", sticky post. You’ll always be welcomed here with this post when you visit!)

Professional-Coaches.com is a place for professional coaches to find and share tips, information, resources, strategies, and even just casual exchanges.

The business of professional coaching is a growing one and one that requires continuous learning, sharing and networking. We encourage coaches to stop by and see what’s new, share their thoughts and resources, and learn and discuss.

With the support and knowledge of others, we can all foster our goal of helping others reach their goals.

Do you often find yourself Googling to assist you in your coaching journey? Wouldn’t it be great to have one primary place to find many resources and thoughts for professional coaches? That’s precisely the goal of Professional-Coaches.com but we can’t do it alone.

Nuestro Casa es Su Casa (Our house is your house). We invite you to make yourself at home and share with other coaches. We would love for you to be our guest blogger, as well as comment with your thoughts and share your resources and strategies.

Welcome home. We look forward to your arrival each and every time.

Karen J. for Professional-Coaches.com

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