Murphy’s Laws says that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Recently, I was reminded of this during a particularly crazier-than-usual week. It was a veritable flurry of mini-disasters. Now, I realize that in the big scheme of things, my flat tire or missed appointment or forgotten tasks are minor compared to the struggles and trials of other people in the world. However, when taken together, it was still an exhausting week for me!
It’s funny that we know things and then forget about them only to be reminded of them again. (If only it would stick!!!). During this past week I was reminded of 3 skills that everyone should have. And believe me, I covet these skills and wish that I reflected them more often!
Skill #1: Acceptance of adversity. When things go wrong – and they will – we need to accept it. That doesn’t mean that we have to like it, but it does mean that we have to simply acknowledge that it has happened and move on from there. There have been plenty of times in my own life and in the lives of people I coach where we face adversity and fly off the handle. Tempers flare, frustration mounts, and there’s yelling, swearing, and tension. It happens and I admit it here because I know this happens to other people, too.
But our lives will dramatically improve when we respond in a more constructive, accepting position when we are face adversity. Rather than flying off the handle, we need to accept that something challenging has happened and then we need to move on from there.
Skill #2: Flexibility. When things go wrong – and they will – we need to get flexible. Once we’ve accepted the adversity as having happened (skill #1) we need to move off of it and start working toward a solution. Flexibility means that we get creative to develop a solution to solve the problem or at least to keep us going in spite of it.
Flexibility in the face of adversity also means that we need to continue on with other things in life, too, even if part of our life is impacted by adversity. (For example, when I got a flat tire last week, I still had to get dinner ready and get the kids to bed regardless of the added tire stress).
Skill #3: Asking "What can I learn from this?". When things go wrong – and they will – we need to ask ourselves "what can I learn from this?". I was reminded recently during a huge rainstorm we had when our neighbor’s pool overflowed and ran down our sloped backyard and into our basement. Until then, we didn’t even know that our backyard sloped ever so slightly toward our house. So we did something about it.
In trying to figure out what you can learn from each situation, you can transform every experience into a personal coaching experience and you will grow from it.
Possessing these three skills – accepting adversity, being flexible, and learning from the situation – will transform how you face challenges. These skills are must-have skills for anyone and they make ideal coaching topics to help your clients, no matter what kind of coaching you might do.
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Wouldn’t you say that these are attributes of mature, self-assured adults? Can everyone be expected to adhere to them in the pressing times we live in where there is so much stress and insecurity?